Two times World Cup winning captain MS Dhoni, who officially announced his retirement on August, 15, 2020 has opened up on his last day as India cricketer.

Dhoni last represented India during their heartbreaking defeat to New Zealand in the 2019 ODI World Cup semi-finals at the Old Trafford Cricket Stadium in Manchester. After that match July 10, 2019, the ‘Captain Cool’ disappeared from the cricket scene. He wasn’t part of India’s squads for the West Indies tour or the bilateral series against South Africa and Sri Lanka at home.

Fans were then expecting to see him play for Chennai Super Kings in the IPL. However, the cash-rich league was postponed due to the Covid-19 pandemic, pushing Dhoni’s return to the field for a longer duration.

At a time when cricket fans were eagerly awaiting to see if his another good stint with CSK would pave the way for his return to the Indian team, Dhoni surprised everyone with his sudden retirement on Independence Day.

However, in his heart, Dhoni had already decided to retire from international cricket after India’s loss in the 2019 World Cup semifinal and the former skipper has now revealed that he was not able to control his emotions after the heartbreaking defeat against New Zealand.

“It gets difficult to control your emotions when you have lost a close game. And inside, I had made my entire plan. To me, that was the last day I played cricket for India. I took retirement a year later but the fact is that, that day I had retired. We cricketers are given certain machines and all of that. So everytime I went to the trainer I gave it back to him. He said ‘No you keep it. And in my mind, I am like ‘how do I tell him I won’t be needing or using it anymore’. I didn’t want to announce it at that point in time,” Dhoni said during an event in Bengaluru.

Retirements are never easy for a cricketer, especially when one has represented the country for a long time and Dhoni was also high on emotion.

“You are high on emotions. The only thing you’ve done in the last 12-15 years is play cricket. And then there is no more chance of you representing the country. There are so many people but only few get that opportunity. And sportspersons, they have that. Irrespective of which sport you play, you are representing your country. Be it Commonwealth Games, Olympics. So once I quit cricket, there was no way I could do that. I could no longer bring any glory. All those things are going on in mind,” said Dhoni.

After leading to their fifth title during IPL 2023, the 42-year-old Dhoni looks all set to lead CSK once again in the upcoming season of the cash-rich league.