By Kapil Kumar
Fifteen years ago, I had dreams which were big and uncertain but still started pursuing due to my passion and clarity on what I wanted to do – acting, directing, producing content for the OTT, and most importantly, playing Table Tennis Internationally and winning when most people would have hung up their boots.
I think that word is contentment, and I have found it in everything I do and I find happiness in everything I do. Which is why, today, I find that I am living the most satisfied of lives when all around me I see people under stress, for genuine or fake reasons.
As I look into the rearview mirror of life, I had everything in life and I had nothing in life too, or so it seemed when one was trying to find ones feet in Mumbai after kicking up a legal career that many would die for – I was working for the Khaitan and Khaitan, a leading legal firm as like countless others, I was also bitten by the acting bug.
Perhaps it was natural for me to drift towards an uncertain but exciting creative pursuits as I found happiness and challenge both in pursuing these since childhood. I was the locality’s favourite choice to play the characters from Ramayana during Dussehra.
From receiving fame at 19 with a big acting role in Mahabharata to representing India in Table Tennis even now, I have always wanted to try different things in life. It was never a smooth path for me, but I was not chasing stardom, as life is much more than that. I was in college when I bagged ‘Mahabharat’, but I was still indecisive about what I wanted to do in my life.
I always had a love for being on stage and took the roles of Lord Krishna in many school plays. The love I received for playing King Shayla in Mahabharat pulled me towards acting. I decided to leave everything and move to Mumbai to pursue my dreams along with thousands of people like me. But as beautiful as these big dreams are, reality is often different.
Fell in love with writing
I left my job in Khaitan Company as a lawyer before officially joining showbiz and had no work for some time. I even slept on the floor and was lost, but I created an opportunity for myself. Within a year, I got an opportunity to work with Mahesh Bhatt and also collaborated with Shyam Benegal, Om Puri, and many big names.
I also fell in love with writing and created a feel-good show, ‘Khushiyan’. I was initially asked to write only 26 episodes, but the show became a huge hit and exceeded 200 episodes. The emotions I took for Khushiyan were universal as I focused on the father-daughter relationship.
Working in the showbiz was rewarding, but I wanted to do more. I wrote, directed, and produced shows, but I did not want to limit myself. In 2012, I wanted to act more and also shifted my focus to Table Tennis. While working on some projects, I also got to play Table Tennis with the legends, Amitabh Bachchan and Sachin Tendulkar.
I have come to the understanding that whether it is acting or playing Table Tennis, everything requires hard work, and every day is a fight. In sports, you have to keep proving every day that you are something. As it was a singles game, I got a chance to prove myself. It is a big challenge, and when you win something, it feels good.
Despite trying many things in my life and finding fame, I enjoyed everything I did and still do. I had one of the most beautiful and contented lives. God has been really kind to me, I don’t know if I deserve so much, and got more than I deserve.
I think I am still carrying on, as every day is a new challenge for me in both acting and sports. But the difference is I had nothing when I started, and I have a lot today. It is easier to make a name but difficult to retain it.
Enjoy acting, don’t aim being a star
If you love acting, then enjoy it and don’t just focus on becoming a star. There is only one SRK, and there are millions who did not reach that level of stardom. So whenever I play any character, I try to find my own happiness in them.
I was not just looking for stardom. Shah Rukh Khan had a different journey, even though we started on the same note. But I wanted to do and try different things in life- sports, creative work, acting. I enjoyed everything I did in life. I am happy I can face hardship with a smile due to my love for my profession and due to my disciplined life, I am able to remove all obstacles easily. Both acting and sports require sacrifices, and we go through it every day.
Amid chasing dreams in the industry, I never really had the time for my personal life, and never married. I received a lot of love due to my work, but I moved towards my dreams so quickly that I didn’t get time to get into any relationship.
I believe life is like waves in a river; you are just flowing through it. Just float through life and do not think about what will happen next, and just enjoy the journey. We are the ones who create our own problems when there is nothing in actuality.
If you had asked me if I had any regrets 10-15 years ago, I would have said yes. But now I am content in life, and I think that life is beautiful. There’s more to life. My perspective on life and success has changed, but yes, I did feel regret 15 years back.
Be true to yourself
Many young people come to Mumbai to become stars, but you should know your potential, as there is a lot of struggle. Be true to yourself before pursuing your dream job. Ever since I was a kid, I had the acting keeda (interest) in me, and I wanted a platform to express myself. I knew it as my ideas were strong, and I used to read a lot of books. With showbiz, I got the platform to express myself, whether through writing, acting or any other profession.
When you face the camera or are on stage, you will soon realise if people like you or not. Let the audience appreciate your work and let them be the judge. Your looks will help you in the initial stage; the rest all depends on hard work and talent. So many star kids have not made it big in the industry despite the support. You have to constantly prove yourself in this field. The camera catches you in self, you cannot lie or hide in front of it. It demands honesty and shows true colours.
Many girls or boys are unfortunately ‘used’ in the industry. But I will advise people to remember that any producer won’t give you a chance just like that. Young girls coming to Mumbai should also understand that the producer won’t spend crores on you after using you. So, be careful. You won’t get a chance in films in this way.
(As Told To Simran Srivastav and Sunny Priyan)
