Where do you place Khamoshi in your repertoire of films?
Khamoshi is my all-time favourite film. And indeed Sanjay Leela Bhansali is my favourite director. I worked wonderfully with Sanjay.It was proven in Khamoshi. And of course lately in Heeramandi.
Did you know that other prominent actresses were considered for Khamoshi, including Madhuri Dixit and Kajol?
I remember Sanjay had given me the script to give him a feedback. And he had very honestly and bluntly told me he had other actresses in mind. And when I read the script, I loved it. I loved it so much because it moved me. Everything was so perfect in the script. And I said, ‘Sanjay, if other people don’t do it, please consider me in. Because I love, love, love the script and I love Annie’s character.’
Sanjay says no one else can play Annie?
It all worked out well. So, I am so glad, you know. I am so proud of that film. I love the songs. I love everybody’s performances. I love the way Sanjay has made me perform. And given me scenes and freedom to perform them. So, I have great memories of that film. I am very proud of that film. I am so glad that Sanjay can’t imagine Khamoshi without me. I am so, so glad.
What was it like shooting for the film on Goa?
Shooting in Goa was fabulous. I love Goa. I love that free-spiritedness of that place. I love the laid-backness of the place. I love the people. I love the sea and the beaches and all that. But you know, while shooting for Khamoshi, everybody was so geared up to do well in that film. Whether it was Salman or Nana or Helenji or Seemaji. All of us, we were really focused about the film.
Only fond memories?
I have very, very, very fond memories. I hope it was fond memories for everybody. As I said, I love the film and I love the memories of it.
Was it tough getting into the dark world of your deaf and mute character?
It was definitely tough to get into the dark world of deaf and mute character. It’s painful to see their struggle. But there was a beauty in that whole setup. There was a beauty in the pain. There was a beauty in the struggle. I just basically, whenever I take on something, I try and understand the character. And try to do my best within the framework that the director has given me. So, Annie’s pain and confusion when she falls in love. When her parents are trying to curb her, but she wants to soar high. And that confusion. You know, she’s devoted towards her parents. But at the same time, she loves the guy, Salman Khan. And she loves to sing. So, there was a delicate balance. And how to navigate that. So, it was tough, but it was beautiful.
You knew Sanjay Bhansali long before Khamoshi?
I’ve always had a fantastic rapport with Sanjay. We were friends before we started Khamoshi. He was assisting Vinod Chopra during 1942: A Love Story. And we had become good friends. Obviously, because I had seen the spark in him. The passion in him. And I loved that. We had created a rapport. And we made Khamoshi. And after Khamoshi, I think we went our separate ways.
Why?
For reasons best known to Sanjay. But the fact is, we worked together again in Heeramandi. And the fact remains that, that fondness, that comfort zone, that trust, that respect is there between us. And I see that in his eyes. And I will always treasure our friendship. All my life. Whether we work, we don’t work. This is beyond work. There are certain bonds which get created while we are working. And I’m honored. And I feel really blessed to have that space in Sanjay’s life.
And I know that it will be there forever. When I returned from cancer treatment, he was the one who called me home. And there was a big party. The way when he hugged me, I understood that deep friendship. And he understood the pain that I had gone through during my cancer. And I just realized that our friendship will last forever. Well, it brings me tears to talk about it right now actually. So, that’s that. We were friends and we will always remain friends. For good. That I know.
Was it tough for you to understand the silent world of Annie in Khamoshi?
I guess, each time an actor plays a different role. Something that they are not familiar with. Of course, it adds value. And you get into a new world. And you try to understand the new dynamics. The unconscious and the conscious and the relationship. And what is in the material world and what is within that is character. Khamoshi was a new area for me, of course. And it does touch upon areas that I had never experienced. I wouldn’t ever have had a glimpse of being a child of deaf and mute parents. Had it not been for Khamoshi.
So, of course, it’s a new area. And at the core of it, I feel we all are human beings. And when we actually look deeper and go layers within us. There is definitely something. Though it was a new feeling. This thing about Annie having an equation with her deaf and mute parents. But I’m sure, deep within me, that resonated with my own experiences. Maybe not the same, but somewhere it’s a similar kind of feeling one would have had. Because I think, we human beings are deeply connected. At a deeper level, we all are the same. We all are the same. That’s what I feel very strongly. Our circumstances may be different. Our characters may be different. But at the core, we are the same. So, Annie definitely touched my core. There was something within me that I was experiencing.
It’s your birthday on August 16?
Well, it’s my birthday and it’s my 55th year. It’s been wonderful. I’m so grateful for this life. I’m so grateful for this profession. So much of love and blessing and recognition this profession has given me. I’m so deeply, deeply grateful. I’m so deeply for the love that I have received. As I said, I feel wonderful. I feel understanding human capacities. Understanding the depth of feelings that we feel and all that. I love this life and I love us for being human beings. I’m grateful that I have this experience of life. Thank you, Subhash. Thank you so much.
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